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Why Your Inner Nice Girl Is Bad For Your Business

Growing up I was always The Nice Girl.

The Good Girl.

The girl who didn’t ruffle any feathers, or say anything to cause drama, or do anything rebellious.

Like many women, I grew up with the message that success and happiness come when you say all the right things and make sure everybody else approves of you. And while I’ve always considered myself an ambitious leader, deep inside I couldn’t stand it if others didn’t approve of me.

When it comes to growing our businesses, holding on to our Inner Nice Girls doesn’t serve us. It keeps us small and safe and scared, which limits how much of an impact we can have on our clients, and the world.

So who is the Inner Nice Girl? She is the part of us that:

…is scared to say or do the wrong thing in case others criticize us
…is more concerned with being liked and approved of, than being in alignment with our truth
…doesn’t want to take risks in our businesses, in case we fail
…suffers with perfectionism, which holds us back from putting our work out into the world
…fears being controversial or outspoken because of what others might think of us

In short, the Inner Nice Girl is the agreeable and pleasing mask that we put on, in the hopes that being nice will bring us success.

But in the loud and busy environment of the online business world, the Inner Nice Girl holds us back from standing out and being heard, which in turn limits our visibility, our ability to attract clients, to make money, and to have the impact we are here to make.

Layla SaadIn April of this year, I wrote a controversial blog post that went viral.

In the post I talked about how the rise of what I call the “6-figure coaches” is failing entrepreneurs by teaching cookie-cutter methods for making money fast, instead of helping entrepreneurs to create long-term, sustainable success through authentic and values-based business building.

In order to write that post I had to set aside my own Inner Nice Girl, because the article strongly called out the practices of many coaches that I felt were manipulative and bordering on unethical.

My Inner Nice Girl tried to warn me that publishing that article would be a huge mistake. She feared that people would criticize me, ostracize me, stop liking me, and no longer want to work with me.

But in actuality, that blog post had the complete opposite effect.

In half a day it had gone viral, bringing me more visibility and positive engagement than I have had since I started my business in 2014.

Within a day it had been shared more than 2k times on Facebook, and within a week it jumped to more than 5k shares.

Publishing that post taught me that we need to let go of our Inner Nice Girls if we want to really grow our businesses and begin to establish ourselves as thought-leaders in our fields.

While you may not “go viral” (is that ever the aim, anyway?!), letting go of your Inner Nice Girl and being more bold and open about what you really want to say in your business can help you to gain more:

  • Subscribers: People who really resonate with your message, your values and what you are sharing. My viral blog post brought in 200 new subscribers in less than a week.
  • Media Opportunities: Opportunities to gain more visibility and credibility through interviews and guest posts. As a result of my blog post, I have appeared on 3 podcast shows to share my views on business building.
  • Clients: Not just any clients, but “kindred clients” who really vibe with you and what your business is about. My blog post has brought in kindred clients for my signature 1:1 coaching program, and my group mastermind program. It has also given me a waiting list of 30 new potential clients.
  • Opportunities for collaboration: Opportunities to partner with other entrepreneurs and thought-leaders who resonate with your message and can help you to gain more visibility. My viral blog post gave me the opportunity to be invited as a guest speaker in my first online summit.
  • Engagement: More engagement from your readers and your community – from blog post comments to Facebook group discussions. My viral post received over 100 blog comments and has brought in more members to my private Facebook community, as well as more engagement within the group itself.

When we let go of our Inner Nice Girls and courageously speak our authentic truth, we naturally attract more visibility and engagement from people who resonate with us.

Business building stops feeling like a chore and starts feeling easy.

We don’t have to hustle or manipulate people into liking us or buying from us. All we need to do is powerfully speak our truth, share our expertise and let go of the need to be liked and approved of by everyone. (Click to tweet)

So if there’s something that you believe needs to change, or stop, or be improved or be somehow different in your industry, now is the time to stand up and unapologetically share your opinions and your solutions.

Blog about it. Speak about it. Share your thoughts on your website and on social media – and by all means, we’d love to hear about it in a comment below this blog post too!

While you might get underneath some people’s skin by calling out the elephants in the room, your ideal clients will thank you for it.

And so will your business.

This entry was posted in *Build Your Empire* on by .
Layla Saad

About Layla Saad

Layla Saad is a Conquer Club member and Women’s Leadership & Business Coach for soulful women entrepreneurs who want to change the world through their work. Click here to download Layla’s free e-book, Queenology: The 8 Secrets of Growing Your Business The Soulfully Feminine Way, and get access to her private Facebook Group, The Queen Collective.

5 thoughts on Why Your Inner Nice Girl Is Bad For Your Business Leave a reply

  1. Hillary Rain

    I just adore you, Layla. I think there is some gentle irony in the fact that those of us who tend to be Nice Girls feel like we will be complete ogres by setting aside that inner sweetheart, but the truth is that doing so just makes us stronger and more empowered. We’re still the same kindhearted, passionate, loving soul we were before but with the deep gleam of wisdom shining from our eyes. This must be a rite of passage from Nice Girl to wise queen. And it’s terrifying, for so many reasons, but I truly think this instills a new kind of authoritativeness that carries us so far. I’m still learning myself. Thank you for your beautiful article!

    Reply
  2. Victoria Klein

    Layla, I love this! I was not only the nice girl, but the quiet girl when I was younger – a double whammy. It’s taken me decades, but I’ve learned that you can clearly speak your mind without being rude or uncaring … and it is so freeing as well :)

    Reply
  3. Yasmin Anderson-Smith

    Layla, you share some interesting points of view in your post. You are courageous. I offer a different point of view. Being nice should not mean that you are weak, too quiet, inauthentic or too afraid to speak your truth. Women and girls can can be successful in life by taking a values-driven approach to their relationships with others. Goodness and kindness are time-proven values for living a positive, purpose-driven life and making a real difference in the lives of others. Just think of Oprah. Compassion is at the center of her authentic brand. And love and happiness are at the center of brand messaging and business models for a growing number of companies. The success of a values-based approach to building relationships and how we treat others should not primarily be measured by the number of new subscribers, TV appearances or how big we go viral. Our intentions are indeed flawed if this is how we choose to calibrate the measure of our success. In the book, “The Power of Civility” I discuss the many ways we can “profit” from building a #personal brand powered by consistently practicing intentional acts of niceness, kindness, goodness and love. Profiting from being more civil – that is, treating others with respect, kindness, caring, and generosity – goes way beyond making money. The book is a free download on my blog, bit.ly/civility power. Nice does matter. Let your inner goodness and kindness shine from within and be bold, loud and proud about it. #ALittleMoreCivility can go a long way.

    Reply
  4. Soraya Soobhany-Chohan

    I love this article. I used to write sugary articles for my Medium blog then oneday I just went for it, I wrote about what my clients were deeply unhappy about and how it felt to be in their shoes and it’s got so much engagement ! I wrote as me and unleashed all those feelings I had when I was in the same position as my clients and it was the best thing I had ever written in terms of engaging potential clients and creating a bond with them based on my true passion.

    Reply

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